It’s ninety degrees outside and humid. Things are not going according to plan. I was supposed to leave at 9 am. I left at 10:15. I was supposed to be on a train by 11 am. Then by 12:15 pm. I left LA at 1:10 pm. All of the little things that went wrong are too trivial to even write down. If ever there was a time to curse a blue streak, this was it.
I never used to swear. Never understood the need for it. Then I moved to Los Angeles, got a job at a talent agency and realized it was essential. It was a release. I also realized that apart from my friends at the agency no one else shared this view.
Last, I realized I now couldn’t have a full conversation without swearing. This realization came when I bought a roll of quarters and put a quarter in the jar every time I cursed. When I ran out of quarters in less than 30 minutes, I knew I had an issue.
I also knew I needed to change. I began asking everyone I knew what word they use instead of cussing. Below are my 10 favorite:
- What the H or WTF? – Why do we feel that by using initials we aren’t swearing?
- Frick – I don’t know why but I use all the time.
- Judas Priest – this was a term an old high school football coach used. Whenever I use it makes me feel 15 again.
- Mother Trucker – I know, it is close to the line but that’s what makes it so satisfying.
- Fudge – yep, been using that one since The Tales of 4th Grade Nothing…..
- Gosh Dang – I know, sounds a little bit like Mayberry but it works
- Holy Moses – I love this, is it religious or sacrilegious? Either way, it works for me.
- “I cuss in another language” – I had friends who said they never cuss in English, so it doesn’t count. Ummmm, I think someone understands it.
- Darn it – I never understood this one because I thought darning was fixing.
- BALLS – which basically sums everything up!
Have one I am missing? Want to add to the list? Or have a list you want to explore. Hit the button below and leave a comment or send to me to add later..